For whatever reason, I never watched Gilmore Girls when it was on the air. I had a few friends who were rather obsessed with the show, but I never had any desire to watch it.
In early May, 2015 all that changed. My guys had tickets for a two-day concert at a venue near Baltimore, Maryland. While they spent two days and evenings listening to a myriad of musical acts, I was "stuck" at the hotel with my laptop. Because the hotel television had HDMI capabilities, I hooked straight into the set and fired up my laptop's dual screen technology feature. Within a few minutes, I was perusing Netflix for something to watch, and quickly settled on Gilmore Girls.
Hooked from the Start
The first episode hooked me. I could relate to Lorelai, the main character, and her disastrous relationship with her parents. I could relate to her passion for her career. I could relate to her having a close friend who was not only a baker, but also a redhead.
But one thing I could not relate to was her relationship with her daughter. I have two sons, and there is a less than 1% chance I will ever have a third child by natural means. Sure, I could foster or adopt a girl but to be perfectly honest, I'm happy with two kids.
The Perks of a Male Dominant Family
Having two boys means I can get family four-packs to concerts, amusement parks, and other special events. I can tag along with my boys to drop a pole in the water on a sunny afternoon, or I can sit home in the peace and quiet of our home with our quartet of canines while they rock out to their favorite bands.
Another perk of having two boys is they are almost completely out of the snarky teenager phase of life. At ages recently-turned-18 and darned-near-17, they are young men who almost always treat me with kindness and respect.
My boys may never desire to spend a day shopping with me, but they know how to order my favorite coffee, hold doors open for me, and refer to me as ma'am when it counts. I may never trade cosmetics tips with them or have them accompany me on a trip to the hair dresser, but I can count on them to take extra shifts of dog walking and provide extra hugs when I'm PMSing.
Hope for the Future
This is not only a show about mothers and daughters, but also about fathers and daughters, grandparents and daughters, close friendships, tight-knit communities, and so much more. Here's a video that shows a good example.
It's true I've never been a Gilmore Girl, but someday my boys may bring home a female significant other. There's still hope that I'll be a Gilmore Girl yet. I'm not in any hurry for it to happen, but I do look forward to it. Whenever that day comes, I will happily introduce them to Lorelai, Rory, Emily, Sookie Saint James, Paris, and all the rest of the cast.
They say authors are their own worst critics. I have found this to be true, not only when it comes to an author critiquing his or her own work, but also when receiving critiques about our work from others -- even if those others are people close to us.
My writing group takes turns critiquing each others' submissions on a regular basis. The submission might be a piece of flash fiction, or it could be a fraction of a larger work, such as my novel-in-progress titled HAUNTED WOMEN OF THE APPALACHIANS.
Critiquing versus Editing
There is a definite line between critiquing and editing. The members of my group not only have different writing styles and genres, but we also have different methods of critiquing each others' works. This is not a bad thing. In fact, it is kind of an awesome thing.
When submitting something, we have the option to put a notation at the top clearly stating what we're looking for in the critique. It might be something like:
I'm looking for egregious errors only.
Everything from plot holes to pronoun choices.
I need help with character development.
I'd like feedback on my scene transitions.
You get the idea, and for the most part this system is pretty flawless. If there is no notation, then the person reading it critiques in whatever style they are most comfortable.
However on one submission in the not-so-distant past, I forgot to put what I was looking for at the top. This piece was already in the hands of my editor. What I really wanted was a general overview, but I didn't say that. I didn't say anything.
So what I got from one member of our group was an in-depth critique. It was completely different from my style of critiquing and bordered on editing. Upon first glance, I did not take it well.
What? No! That's not How it Works!
Thoughts like It's not what I wanted at all! and How could this person edit my work? It's mine! ran through my head as I glanced over the comments, each one neatly organized in its own little speech bubble. If I took all the suggestions, it would require me to change a lot of things, and I kind of don't do well with change.
Here's a confession: I didn't even read through them all on the first time around. About halfway through the digital document, I closed it out with plans to revisit it later. The only mention I made of it during our meeting was a request not to edit my work or remove words and phrases, but to strike through or highlight them so I have a clear reference when reading through the comments.
I couldn't say anything else. There was just too much to digest. When it comes to my writing, I am tenderhearted. My skin is thin as rice paper. These words I put together are like little bits of my soul. To paraphrase a metaphor from Julie, a friend, home school mom and fellow writer, "When I put my pen to the page, I bleed." In other words, regardless whether it is literary fiction, non-fiction, or science fiction, we authors put a lot into our work.
Revisiting the Critique
A few days later, armed with a Caramel Ribbon Crunch Frappuccino, I went back and read through the comments again. A lot of the comments brought up good points, such as talking more about the floor plan of the setting to give readers a clearer picture. There were still a few I disagreed with, but this time I didn't beat myself up over them.
Looking back, I am so glad I didn't allow my emotions to run my mouth at the meeting. I probably would have hurt someone who I consider a friend.
It was easy to see, after a few days went by, the critique itself wasn't what bothered me. It was my reaction to it. I took the comments way too personal. They weren't an attack on my writing. They were just comments from one person's point of view.
I'm not alone, though. A lot of artists are quite passionate about their work, from painters, to musicians, to writers, to actors, and everyone in between. Even Lucy Lawless (aka Xena, Warrior Princess) isn't immune to critiques as you can see from this video of her teaming up with Kenny Loggins to turn his hit Footloose into a duet.
As authors, we are not going to please all of the people all of the time. Not everyone will love the things we write. Some of you might be critiquing this blog post as you read it, and that's okay. (And if you do, please leave a comment below so we can talk about it...in a couple of days. Heh.)
Less Self-Criticism and More Investment
I'm not suggesting we stop critiquing our own works, but that we stop being so critical of ourselves. Instead of writing for other people, write for just one person -- you. At the end of the day, you are the person who has to live with the words, phrases, sentences, stories, chapters, and novels you publish for an audience, whether it is a social media status update or New York Times bestseller.
Other people can decide whether or not to invest in your work, but your investment in your work grows whenever you spend time on it. The time you spend beating yourself up because you don't like what one person has to say during a single moment can be spent doing something more productive, like fixing plot holes.
We need to weather all critiques, both positive and negative ones. In a way it prepares us for the future, when readers publicly review our works on sites like Goodreads and Amazon. There's a blog article by Mary Bue MacLean titled "Thoughts on Success, Failure & Non-Attachment" which explores the concept of recovering from a setback and includes a short, helpful video on the topic.
Let's Chat about Critiquing!
Have you ever received a critique or review of your writing that made you cringe? How did you handle it? I'd love to discuss this in the comments section below!
After urging from several friends, I signed up for MasterClass where James Patterson teaches how to write a bestselling novel. The timing is perfect as I just finished writing my first novel.
Because it was a series of short stories and my second book is my first full length novel, I need all the help I can get. Enter James Patterson, a bestselling author with a track record like no other. But he didn't start out that way. Every short story he ever submitted got rejected, and his first book was rejected 31 times before being published.
Talk about a ray of hope! A couple of weeks ago a woke up earlier than anyone else in my house -- even the dogs. With coffee in hand, I settled in at my desk, fired up the MasterClass webpage and logged in through my Facebook account.
A string quartet kicks off the introductory video, its briskly ushering you into the virtual classroom. It hearkens to the first day of school, when masses funneled into the auditorium doors where they sat en masse to hear the principal talk about goals for the new year.
"Hi. I'm Stephen King."
This is the first line of James Patterson's Master Class. Aside from using a different name, it's the same voice you hear on commercials. Hi. I'm James Patterson. He uses this technique to illustrate the importance of first lines.
James Patterson then segues into what he hopes people will achieve by taking the course. He explains who those people are, and what he can offer to them without wasting a lot of time with unnecessary details. He discusses some of the specific things he'll discuss in the course, from characters to marketing.
From there James Patterson shares some details about his journey from struggling writer to published author. His driving point is this: you aren't in this alone. He's been where you are right now, and even if you don't get published, then it's just part of your journey.
Where are you on your journey? Are you a writer? A reader? Something else? I'd love to talk to you about it in the comments area.
This is Speedy. She is an Eastern Box Turtle. Our neighbors found her in 2011 when she was about the size of an American silver dollar coin and domesticated her. Her shell is now slightly smaller than a softball.
During the summer of 2013, our neighbors were relocating to another area of the United States. They asked if my family could hang onto Speedy until they got settled. Long story short, by the time they were settled there, Speedy was settled here and we all agreed that she could stay with me indefinitely.
Speedy has a very good life, for a turtle. We upgraded her previous tank to one that measures 40 gallons, practically doubling the size of her habitat. In her tank she has:
Wood shred perfect for burrowing
A wading pool just large enough for soaking
Wood hiding hut custom built from reclaimed wood
Half a hollow log for climbing and hiding
Replica slate used as a feeding dish
Two different types of cuttle bone
I thought we were doing okay, but then Speedy went through a bit of a funk. She hunkered down in her hut for days at a time. Her tank is right next to my work space so she and I spent quite a bit of time together. During her funk, I barely saw her.
Finally I placed a frantic call to the nearest reptile vet. After several days of phone tag, I eventually got a live person on the phone and explained the situation -- about my turtle, who is a reptile. A vet tech called back and asked for more information regarding my bird. I don't even have a bird.
By this time, Speedy was back to her old self. I joined a group on Facebook and got a little advice. One repeated comment to the picture above was that her beak is overgrown and needs a trim. Because there's no other reptile vet in the area, it looks like I'll be tackling that myself.
I'm just glad the poor thing doesn't have PMS!
Like all the interesting things that happen in my life, Speedy is someday destined to make it into one of my books. Do you have any interesting pets? Are you a writer who gets inspiration from animals? Please share about it in the comments. I'd love to hear from you!
Everyone has a dirty little secret. Mine is that I play D&D. That's right -- Dungeons and Dragons. I first started playing during my freshman year of college when an old boyfriend said, "But girls don't play D&D." Well of course I had to try after that.
What I initially took to be a game of nerds sitting around a card table for an excuse to swill noxious green soda and nosh on orange-dusted tortilla chips turned out to be one of the best things in my life. It's led me to solid friendships with some great people.
Even better, playing D&D helped kick start my writing career. Playing D&D with a group around my dining room table led to playing text-based roleplaying games (RPGs) online. Because the games are text-based, there is a lot of reading, and even more writing.
One game even has a quarterly writing contest where fanfiction can win you big prizes, like ginormous amounts of in-game credits worth several hundred USDs which you can use to buy exclusive items for your character.
Writing fanfiction about a game led to writing blog articles for the game's website. It's what I was doing when I made the decision to sign up for Elance.
Every morning while waiting for coffee to seep its way into my veins I check out Facebook. This quiz recently caught my eye and, being a gamer from way back, I could not help but check it out. Typically I play a halfling bard so I was pretty pleased at the results (listed below).
What's your dirty little secret when it comes to things that inspire you? I showed you mine. Now I'd love it if you showed me yours in the comments section. Your secret's safe with me!
Alignment: Neutral Good A neutral good character does the best that a good person can do. He is devoted to helping others. He works with kings and magistrates but does not feel beholden to them. Neutral good is the best alignment you can be because it means doing what is good without bias for or against order. However, neutral good can be a dangerous alignment when it advances mediocrity by limiting the actions of the truly capable.
Race: Elves are known for their poetry, song, and magical arts, but when danger threatens they show great skill with weapons and strategy. Elves can live to be over 700 years old and, by human standards, are slow to make friends and enemies, and even slower to forget them. Elves are slim and stand 4.5 to 5.5 feet tall. They have no facial or body hair, prefer comfortable clothes, and possess unearthly grace. Many others races find them hauntingly beautiful.
Class: Clerics act as intermediaries between the earthly and the divine (or infernal) worlds. A good cleric helps those in need, while an evil cleric seeks to spread his patron's vision of evil across the world. All clerics can heal wounds and bring people back from the brink of death, and powerful clerics can even raise the dead. Likewise, all clerics have authority over undead creatures, and they can turn away or even destroy these creatures. Clerics are trained in the use of simple weapons, and can use all forms of armor and shields without penalty, since armor does not interfere with the casting of divine spells. In addition to his normal complement of spells, every cleric chooses to focus on two of his deity's domains. These domains grants the cleric special powers, and give him access to spells that he might otherwise never learn. A cleric's Wisdom score should be high, since this determines the maximum spell level that he can cast.
