Target, Transgender People, and Public Restrooms

There's a lot of upheaval over which bathroom should allow a transgender person. Some people want to base it on gender at birth while others are okay with basing it on the gender the person best associates with at the present time.

A lot of my Facebook friends who agree with things like North Carolina House Bill 2 (HB2) are of the Christian faith. This bill, as CNN describes:

The law...put in place a statewide policy that bans individuals from using public bathrooms that do not correspond to their biological sex. It also stopped cities from passing anti-discrimination ordinances to protect gay and transgender people.

Here's what I think.

1. No transgender person has ever caused harm to myself, my husband, or our children. Does that mean they can't or they won't? Nope. It means there's the same for them as there is for anyone else to cause emotional or physical trauma to another human person.
2. Jesus said to love everyone. He didn't say, "Only love the heterosexual people" or "Only love the people who are born comfortable in their own skin". Part of loving someone is accepting who they are.
3. Most of my shopping takes place on Amazon. If I have to shop local retail, then I'll happily drive over to the next town so i can shop at Target. As another blogger mentioned, their Dollar Spot is pretty fabulous. And bonus - they also have a built-in Starbucks with a Pizza Hut.

It's okay if you disagree with me on this. I just ask that we disagree in a respectful, grown-up manner.

One of the characters in my Treasure Pines cozy mystery series, which coincidentally takes place in North Carolina, reveals his transgender side in the second book. As I finish writing the first book and wrap up final edits on HAUNTED WOMEN OF THE APPALACHIANS, it will be interesting to see how real life pans out.

Guess What I Did with Gene Simmons Last Night

Last week a family emergency found me spending several nights at a hospital in a neighboring town. The room had a recliner that, while certainly better than the Flintstones-era char found in rooms at the hospital in town, was no sleep number mattress.

Sleeping in strange places is a good way to have strange dreams, especially when you're already sleep-deprived, forget to eat dinner, and people are in and out of the room at all hours. This unexpected adventure did not disappoint.

The dream started out fairly normal, with my husband and I arriving at the home of one of my clients. The Christmas holiday was in full swing and twinkling fairy lights lit up a large stone patio that greeted us at the end of the driveway. 

Our host and my husband found common ground quickly and began discussing guns. Had my husband ever tried the newly modified gun from the NES game, Duck Hunt? My husband had not! Our host immediately invited him to come into the backyard to try it out on his skeet shooting equipment.

I was invited to join other guests in the basement rec room, where our teenage sons had retired to play authentic 1980s arcade games. Upon entering the rec room I was impressed to see it looked more like a hotel lounge with white leather sofas and light fixtures of shiny brass and sparkling crystal.

And who was sitting on the sofa with a glass of bourbon? Gene Simmons! I wasted no time striking up a conversation about an interview of his I'd recently watched, in which he discussed his mother, a holocaust survivor. 

Gene Simmons then invited me to play foosball. Every time he got a point, he'd stick out his tongue and wiggled it like a worm. I could feel my cheeks blush as I laughed.
"That's what I do when I get a point," he explained. "You want me to do it again? I need to get another point." 

When I let him get another point he continued, "This is how I win. I seduce women into letting me win."

Then I woke up.

As the day went on I realized the dream's message. If I want my books to be popular and "win", then I'm going to have to seduce my readers with a fabulous plot, interesting characters, and creative conflicts that will keep them glued to the page.

So tell me what you like in a book and, more importantly, what you don't like. Let's talk about it in the comments section!

Naked and Afraid from an Author's Point of View

Have you seen Naked and Afraid? It's a reality show on the Discovery Channel where two people (one male, one female) strip down to their birthday suits for a three week adventure in the forest.

If you know me outside of the internet, then you know I'm not the type of person who would take part in this type of show. That's exactly how I feel, however, every time I put my writing out there for someone else to read. I click the "submit" button and suddenly my ego is fragile as an egg sitting within a nest built high in the treetops.

I feel both naked and afraid.

I'm not sure how better or worse that would be than cavorting about the woods for three weeks wearing nothing but my birthday suit accessorized with a canvas messenger bag. I can't imagine the awkwardness of that situation.

And yet, I can clearly imagine it for my characters. Here's an overview of how I think the main four characters of my Treasure Pines series might fare on Naked and Afraid:

• Sam - He would do fine once he got past the lack of technology. All his Boy Scout training would come right back. Because he's a single dad to a teenage son, he has a bit more modesty than his childhood friend, Ben. I could see him using the canvas sack like a kilt.
  
• Maggie - She has a few pounds to lose and is extremely conscious about her appearance. While she could survive on grubs and plants for three weeks, her self-consciousness would be her downfall.
  
• Ben - Maggie's brother has no inhibitions. He's a man's man and has no problem killing animals to survive, cooking them in the wild, or making a salad of edible flowers. His only complaint would be that having to spend three weeks with another person would just slow him down.
  
• Nell - Maggie's best friend, she's got the body of a personal trainer and the flawless skin of a model. She is very outdoorsy and loves sports. Her downfall would be her taste for fine dining and that bugs make her squeamish.

In the meantime, I won't apply for Naked and Afraid any time soon. I'll be in my home office where I'm happily Clothed and Comfortable.

Would you ever try out for the reality show? Or do you prefer to keep your wobbly bits safely hidden from inquiring minds? Let me know in the comments section!

While you think about it, here's an SNL skit parodying the show which features Peter Dinklage who looks more 'naked and annoyed' than naked and afraid.

Chopped - It's What's for Dinner!

When my husband retired, we went from two paychecks per month to one retirement check per month. Although it's about the same amount of money, paying all our bills in one shot really puts in perspective how much we splurged on frivolous things, like fast food, restaurant meals, junk food, and the like.

What were we thinking?

A fast food meal for a family of four costs about $8 per person, or $32 total. For just a couple of dollars more we could have bought enough groceries to last the entire day.

• Milk - $2
• Eggs - $1
• Pancake mix - $2
• Bacon - $4
• Lunch meat - $3
• Cheese - $3
• Loaf of bread - $2
• Apples - $3
• Peanut butter - $3
• Hamburger - $5
• Spaghetti noodles - $2
• Sauce - $2
• Garlic bread - $2

Wow, right?

The rigid structure of our incoming finances has not only made us more responsible, but it also holds us more accountable for our choices. Sure we can splurge on Bojangles Fried Chicken, Pizza Hut, and a trip to a restaurant during the first week of the month. We might, however, regret it during those last few days when the finances are scant and the start of the next month seems light years away.

This new budget not only affects how we shop for food, but also how we prepare it. Toward the end of the month every mealtime feels a little like an episode of chopped. I could probably host an episode right now.

• a can of chicken, animal crackers, and mandarin oranges
• ham slices, Italian dressing, and puffed rice cereal
• pizza bagels, microwave popcorn, and two apples that are starting to wither 

So what's the point?

The point is sometimes life throws us a curve ball. How we decide to handle it determines what happens next. It's not so different than the plot of a book.

For example, Maggie Sawyer planned to marry a lawyer and spend the rest of her life raising a family in the suburbs of Washington, D.C. Before the family was ever started, life threw her a curve ball when her fiance decided to dally with his cougar of a boss.

She high tailed it home to North Carolina to emotionally recuperate for a few months. Life throws her another curve ball when the local postman winds up murdered and she inherits his golden retriever.

How do you handle curve balls?

Do you catch them? Swing and a miss? If you're an author, how do your characters handle them? Let me know in the comments section!

Spinning Characters from Real People - My Husband

A few days before Valentine's Day, 2016 my husband asked me to take him to the doctor for what he thought was an incurable gas pain. I snickered and agreed, despite the early hour and my not yet having any coffee. Speaking of coffee, I'll be right back.

Mmm, caffeine. Now where was I?

Oh yeah, gas pains. In my defense, late one night a few years ago my husband had me take him to the emergency room. He was sure his appendix was on the verge of rupturing. The attending physician prescribed him a heavy-duty painkiller, he passed gas (my husband, not the doctor), and we went home. Needless to say, I've had more than a little fun at his expense in the time since.

So imagine my surprise when this time the doctor sent us to the emergency room. The attending physician confirmed what the primary care doctor suspected. That afternoon, they removed his appendix.

You can bet your sea-salted, caramel ribbon Frappuccino this will make its way into a book.

Did you ever write a character based on someone in real life? Psst. Tell about it in the comments. Your secret's safe with me!

In the meantime, check out this video. I'm not sure what's more disturbing, the review or the game. Either way, it's a real gas--pun intended!

7 Reasons Why I Love Being Type B

The Type A and Type B personality metrics date back to the 1950s, and describes contrasting characteristics among people. Generally speaking, Type A's are the successful go-getters while Type B people are slothful fun seekers. That's not entirely true, however.

My to-do list looks more like many layers of subway graffiti art. My desk is rather messy, covered in piles of things I'll get to...eventually. My schedule is as flexible as any master yogi.

The Type A people in my life ask, often with a look of sheer horror on their faces, "But doesn't that bother you?"

Absolutely not! I am Type B and loving it, and here's why:

• According to researchers, Type B people are more laid back and patient. That means less chronic stress and a healthier cardiovascular system. It doesn't get me out of eating my vegetables or going to the gym, but it is a big plus.
  
• Type B people are more fun, and we're great at delegating. It means we're more rested and less over-worked. We're also more diplomatic, and more likely to compromise rather than take sides in disagreements between friends or co-workers.
  
• We look at the big picture. Sure, we might overlook small details, but we Type B folks are looking on down the road, past today's petty frustrations and on ahead to bigger and brighter goals.
  
• Type B's use failure as a learning tool. Don't get me wrong. We love success as much as anyone, but if we have to take a step back then we use what we learned to bounce back and try again.
  
• We are positive people. We try to see the good in everyone. Because of this, we are more likely to give someone a second chance. Or maybe even a third. We're awesome that way.
  
• Type B folks are creative. Look at us. We're comfortable in our chaos and thrive under looming deadlines.
  
• We live in the moment and enjoy every minute of life. There's something about a Type B person that puts other people at ease no matter what their personality types.

I'm pretty content being a Type B, even if my Type A husband and I butt heads now and again. And Maggie Sawyer, the main character of my first Treasure Pines mystery series is fairly Type B as well.

What type are you? Are you a well-organized Type A who loves structure and organization? Are you a creative Type B with a free spirit that goes with the flow? Maybe you're a little bit of both. Let me know in the comments section, below. I'd love to hear your take on it!

On Sherlock and Siblings

Did you see "The Abominable Bride" episode of Sherlock? My family loved it so much that we saved the DVR'ed episode to watch again on Sunday afternoon with one of the neighborhood kids.

The first time I watch something, I'm almost always multitasking. #TheStruggleIsReal as a dear friend would say. The second time around I pick up on all the details I missed before.

What I Noticed While Watching the Second Time

This time I picked up more details about the relationship between Mycroft and Sherlock. From the introduction of these characters in "A Study in Pink" it is clear they have a love-hate relationship. Despite their snarky barbs directed at each other, we learn Mycroft has his younger brother under surveillance.

During this most recent episode we once again see Mycroft let down his guard about his true feelings for his brother when he says, "I was there for you before. I'll be there for you again. I will always be there for you." Why wouldn't want Mycroft for a big brother? (Okay, fine. There is the surveillance bit.)

5 Sibling Pairs from Fiction

Here is a list of other popular sibling pairs from fictional sources, be it book, film, or some other medium:

1. Jem and Scout - If you do not love this brother-sister duo from To Kill a Mockingbird, then I am not sure we can be friends. (Fine, we can still be friends. We just won't discuss this.) And to avoid giving away spoilers from Go Set a Watchman, I won't say any more about them.
2. Luke and Leia - There I was, eleven years old, wondering if Luke and Leia would get married when all of a sudden it's revealed they're brother and sister. What the Ewok? That's a plot twist that will live on for several generations.
3. Cain and Abel - The original siblings straight from the Biblical tale, these brothers have inspired some of the best sibling rivalries ever to pop up in fiction, whether vintage classics or references from current pop culture.
4. Zan and Jayna - One Saturday morning during my childhood I was watching Superfriends, when Jayna turned into this giant eagle, and Zan turned into a bucket of water which Gleek carried while riding atop Jayna's back. I guess you had to be there, but it really made me wish I had a wonder twin who shared a super power with me.
5. Elizabeth and Jane - On the surface, you might think these sisters from Pride & Prejudice, who could not be more opposite, would rival with Mary and Edith from Downton Abbey for the Most Competitive Siblings award. They actually get along well, and meddle in each other's affairs for helpful reasons.

The world has no shortage of siblings. While Sherlock won't return until 2017 (The horrors!) we'll at least see a few more weeks of Downton before it wraps up. Here's one of our first looks at Mycroft Holmes.

Who are your favorite fictional siblings? How do they stand up to your real-life siblings, or the siblings of other people you know? Let's chat about it below!

Giving Your Characters the Gift of Forgiveness

Christmas is the season of forgiveness, but I'm here to tell you it's not easy. Take a look at any social media network and you'll find groups of people who are offended by everything from skin color to use of a certain phrase. While I am first to preach tolerance, there are some things that seem pretty unforgivable!

For example, I am not sure I can forgive LeAnn Rimes for butchering one of my favorite songs. "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas" was fine just the way it was. There was certainly no reason for her to add a country twang and double the pace.

Another example of something that seems unforgivable is when someone tells a lie that involves my kids. Treat me like crap if you must, but please do not drag my boys into it. They are not angels by any stretch, but they are my angels and nobody's going to lie about them.

And finally, let's talk about pictures of me on social media. I'm not a huge fan. It's taken me six years since first creating my Facebook account to be comfortable enough to post a selfie. When I find other people have posted them, I have a little meltdown bemoaning all my flaws to my husband, who patiently and lovingly suffers through it. Every. Single. Time. (Because after all, the photo on my book jacket will be much more flattering.)

Now that I've given some examples of seemingly unforgivable acts, look at them from the point of view of a character in a book.

• A musician hears a remake of his song on the radio, and plots his revenge.
• A neighbor lies about kids traipsing through her flower beds to hide the fact that a feral cat colony living in the crawlspace under her home is the real culprit.
• A photographer posts a photo of a political figure online acting suspicious to social media and, as a result, winds up stalked by members of the mafia.

In each of the above situations, the character wields quite a bit of power. They can forgive or not, and that will weigh heavily on the outcome of your story. Just like whether or not I forgive people will affect the outcome of my story. I'm trying to come to terms with the second and third items on my list, but LeAnn Rimes will never hold a candle to Gayla Peevey when it comes to my favorite Christmas song!

Have you given your characters the chance to forgive anyone? Were any of their situations inspired by things in your life? Let's chat about it in the comments section below!